Make a wish trip and update

It took me a while longe rot put it on here...sorry!

Okay, so we've been back for almost 2 weeks now...i've made many attempts to sit down and write this update.
So here i am...hopefully this is my final attempt. Part of what i think makes it hard is that i can't even convey in words out loud or written how amazing our trip was. I don't think i realized how much it was needed until we returned home.
We all felt really rested and restored despite the constant entertainment and excitment our Make A Wish week held. This coming 2 weeks later...
I understand that many of you probably don't need every specific detail of our trip...but i can't possibly explain to you without giving some details about the blessings we were showered with.
I'm fairly certain that i told you all that the Ezra and Ayla did not know about this trip in the least bit. We were able to keep everything a surprise! Which was amazing in and of itself b/c in a small house pack 4 people to go away for a week is not easy!
Every detail was not given to them until they were faced with the surprise. The morning we left, the limo pulled up and the kids stared at it...until Ryan said, "Well....get in." They were extatic...big smiles all around!
They didn't know where we were going when we got to the airport, until we were in the air the pilot announced, they didn't know about Give Kids the World Village and all that that entails until we arrived, they didn't know about Disney, Star Wars Jedi training, meeting Mickey and Minnie, Santa, Sea World...none of it until it was happening.
Give Kids the World met us at the airport with a little special sign that said, "Ayla Hewitt."
For those of you that don't know, Give kids the world is a village built for wish children from all over the world. It really has an amazing story behind it. It really is a special little village where all the worries and struggles families face with children who are ill face disappear for a week. All you see on every families face is joy and hope. The sorrow and worry is gone for that time spent there. The village itself fills 1500 volunteer hours every week, with only 30 paid employees. I would say there are about 100 villa's or so. There are 2 pools, one with a huge splash pad, fishing, ice cream from early morning until late night, a boundless playground, arcade, mini golf, nature trails, castle of miracles, carosel, horseback riding, and the list goes on with events that they plan every day. We were able to celebrate Halloween as well as Christmas at the village.
Every thursday was Christmas in the village, so they play Christmas music, set out Christmas decorations, and have parade and Santa after dinner. After you meet Santa you step outside where the kids are faced with 2 great big racks of toys that they get to choose a toy from.
I should also add, that everything at the village is free. They take care of everything...all you could think of for that amazing week. I didn't have to cook for the whole week...not even pour cereal! We had a hot breakfast, lunch, dinner every day that was deliscious. Not the mention ice cream whenever we wanted!
They provided us with tickets for all the disney parks, sea world, and universal. We did Magic Kingdom first and we able to see everything we wanted and still be back for dinner b/c of our Make a Wish pass, we didn't have to wait in lines at all...which was great! We did Hollywood Studios where Ezra got to attend the Jedi training academy and fight Darth Vader, which would not have happened had it not been for Make A Wish, at Universal we enjoyed Suess Landing (where the Dr. Suess village is) as well as the Curious George play area (Ayla's fav b/c she got to play in the water in her clothes!!!), as well as we got to go to Disney Downtown and spend money that they gave us for Souveneirs...it was nice to for once not to have to avoid a store b/c you know you don't have enough money to buy anything there. Ezra got to build his own to take home Lightsaber and Ayla bought a pair of sparkley sleeping beauty dancing shoes.
Each day when we returned home there were little "treats" left in our villa. They ranged from board games to movies, stuffed animals to small toys. I was so glad a friend suggested to bring an Extra bag for the "stuff" we would get while staying there. Good thing we brought a hockey bag...
I would say Ayla had two favorite things in the village. The first was a carosel with all different kinds of animals...you could ride it every day as many times as you wanted. I'm almost sure she rode every animal on it. The second, was a spa they had open every evening. There you could get spray tattoos, face painting (her ultimate fav), manicures, and hand massages...(and also a surprise My Little Pony lunch box which she carries almost every where now). She and Ezra had their face painted almost every night.
A couple mornings a week characters from the different parks come to the village. We met Mickey and Minnie (Ayla played shy) and got pictures with them, as well as Goofy, Pluto and Belle (from Beauty and the Beast...Ezra's favorite princess b/c she said she knows all about Jedis." Also for The Pirate and Princess party they have every friday night, SHamu and Dolly the Dolphin come dressed up for the party. Ayla preferred the be a pirate by the way...i'll include a picture:)
There's much more i could say but i won't carry on any longer...other than to say that we are truly thankful for this opporunity. We thank the Lord for the rest that we had and the restoration that he provided through it. We were growing quite weery the week before we left.

He knew that...

A quick update on the experimental treatment:

She had her 2nd treatment a week ago today. The IV poke went better. One long poke instead of mulitples...so that was good. Still very hard on Ayla but better than the first.
She handles the benadryl better than last time and i think even had some fun while we were there. One for the highlights is that she gets to order breakfast like in a restaraunt...yes, hospital pancakes and home fries. Surprisingly tastey:)
Despite the actual treatment...it's almost "fun". Ryan's parents come down to help with Ezra b/c Ayla requested that he's there with her. So we all play in and out of the room and do crafts and color. When we are there is also the same day the therapy dog comes for a visit and the clowns:) So all in all...it's an okay day. It was actually about and hour and a half shorter this time, which we are very thankful for.
Her next treatment is november 10th and then she see's her Rhuematologist on the 18th...and we will see if she notices any difference.
Please continue to pray for this experimental med...that it would work for Ayla.

Lots of love and thanks.
Lacy

9-30-11/experimental meds

Good afternoon.
I'm so thankful for all the encouraging responses we got from the update and pics i sent of Ayla dancing! She is really having fun with it and loves it very much. She had dance again last night and was all smiles.
This update i'm going to try and keep brief. We have had a busy day.
Ayla had her first treatment of the experiemental medication today. We arrived at the hospital and 8am this morning and didn't leave until 2. The medication itself only ran for 2 hours but they had a lot of trouble getting an IV in...once again. That was the worst part of the day. They ended up having to put it in one wrist and then board it and tape it so she had no use of that hand, which was frustrating when she was trying to play and distract herself. But it is what it is...
They gave her some benadryl before the med to prevent any allergic reaction and it made her tired and irritable while we were there. But for the most part it was okay.
They have been doing some social emotional work with her at school with a social worker so she can process how she feels about the new meds and i think she's handling it better emotionally than i thought she would. We will keep praying...God will help her...and us. The child life people at the hospital are amazing also. Lots of new toys and things to distract her. They also had a therapy dog come in, which Ezra really liked. Ayla was so tired at that point she couldn't really enjoy it.
We were also very blessed by my mother in laws' bible study group. One of the women in her group has cancer and during one of her treatment she was thinking about Ayla and suggested that they all get little toys and things for Ayla to do while she has hers. So Ayla spent much of the morning distracted by playing with new toys, coloring with new markers, and making crafts in her room. This was such a great thing...when my mother in law told me about it, i got a little teary. For a woman to be thinking of our little girl in the midsty of her own trials...THANK YOU:) God is good.
All in all the treatment went well. The nurses and staff were all great. We are very thankful for the many blessings that today provided, along with a hope for healing for our girl.
That said, i have a secret to share with you.
Last year a friend of ours that has a chronically ill child suggested a wish from Make a Wish for Ayla. For this the parents have to "okay" it and then the medical staff decide whether or not she qualifies for a wish. I sat with the paper work in my bible from last summer (the summer of breaks) until after Christmas...and finally i decided to send it in.
In March we found out that she got a wish. It was kind of bitter sweet. It was almost admitting that she was ever 'THAT' sick...but such a huge blessing.
So tomorrow, we are going on our make a wish trip to Give Kids the World in Disney World. Everything is all taken care of for us and all we have to do is relax and enjoy...I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO COOK THE WHOLE TIME WE WE ARE THERE!!!
Part of the reason we haven't said anything was b/c we are keeping it all a secret from the kids. They have no idea that at 8:30am tomorrow a limo is going to pick us up, take us to the airport and where we are going. Ryan and i keep finding out little bits and pieces about the trip and are getting more excited too. Like the limo taking us to and from the airport!! We only foudn that out a few weeks ago.
We feel truley blessed and overwhelmed...by all the things God has put in our path to give us rest sometimes.
Anyways, that's my quick update...i will let you know how the trip goes!
We love you all and value all your thoughts and prayers very deeply...

Lacy

PS, on a side note. Ryan is really struggling with work. If you think of him...please say a prayer. Thank you again...

Thank you Lord for miracles!

This is just a quick update with Ayla. More of a praise i'd like to share with you all.

We decided to put Ayla in a parks and rec dance class b/c she'd been talking about some other girls at school doing dance and that she'd like to try it...
Here are some pictures. Words can hardly explain how i felt sitting there with tears of joy in my eyes for those 30 minutes...thank you Lord for your miracles.
(She's the one with the little pink outfit/yellow undershirt/leggings:) )
^These are just a few pictures of the almost 100 that i took*

Ayla update 9-4-11

Wow! Labour Day! I can hardly believe it's almost fall! Although Friday and Saturday were quite hot, labor day (excuse the inconsitent spelling of that...I'm American and i just don't understand the "u"...but i try!) weekend reminds me that fall is not far off. Cooler weather and less mosquito's!
I have a surprise for most of you! It's been so long since i sent an update, guess what?!?! RYAN IS HOME! Not home for a visit, BUT ACTUALLY HOME WITH WORK HERE IN WINDSOR! Thank you Lord! It's about a month long project, but hopefully it will turn into more. And actually being here will make it a bit easier to hit up some people personally for work. He got home last Wednesday and starts work Tuesday. It will be so strange to have him home for dinner and bedtime every night! We are so very thankful for all of your prayers.
I was just sitting here reading a devotion about "looking for God." How many things go by that go unnoticed because we just keep pushing ahead...wanting to get to what's next instead of what is now. It made me think about Ayla...of course.
Just tonight we were going through some of her old clothes to pass on to another little girl. She was helping. She pulled out these little brown suede boots someone had given to us when Ayla was tiny, at the time they were much too big for her so we put them away for another time. I had sometimes thought about the boots and how i coudln't wait for her to be able to wear them! But today when she pulled them out, i felt sad. She never did wear those cute little boots...when they fit her...she couldn't walk...she was far to sick to even stand...
Funny how those little things can set us back into heartache that seems so fresh.
That said, how many things do i over look in a given day just because life happens? Ayla running in the backyard, kicking a soccer ball, swimming, jumping, riding a trike, all these things that we kept waiting for to happen sometimes get overlooked or don't seem as "miracle worthy" as we once felt like they were.
So as i sit looking at those silly boots, I am thankful for the many miracles God has done in Ayla's life...our family's life.
We have decided that we are going to try the trial medication with Ayla. We have prayed a lot and talked to her old doctor and her whole team at the John McGivney Center here in Windsor and we are going to try it. There are some risks involved, some big, some small. But if anything bad happens, we will stop right away. Her medication will be by infusion at the hospital 3 times in the first 6 weeks and then 1 time every 4 weeks after that. The IV will likely run 2-3 hours. She will have to have a chest xray and a TB test before she can have the drug, she's scheduled to get those on the 14th. So she will begin shortly after that.
Part of the reason we decided to do this was because, the doctors really think this is the only shot Ayla has at being "normal". This is really all they have left. And when i ask, "well how far away from normal is she?" It's evident to them, that her skin, thought developmentally she's doing well, will never get less tight/stiff/thick without more help. And if we leave her like this for longer, it's less likely that any medication will ever work. Also, because of the way that her skin is, if we leave it, it could possibly inhibit growth of her limbs (limbs being significantly longer/shorter than others), muscles, and cause constant contractures of her joints.
So while now everything seems so "normal"...we have to think long term.
Someone said to me, "Well, think about when she's a teenager. Would she be more likely to say, "Why did you make me do those IV's? They hurt me!" or "If there was a chance a medicine would have made me better, why did you do it?" TRY THINKING ABOUT THAT QUESTION!
Anyway, I've been in contact with her social worker and she's going to be in touch with the child life people at the hospital and try and set it up so that she has something to look forward to while she's there. A special craft or a new movie, something of that nature. The social worker will also work with Ayla and I doing play therapy so we can see how it's effecting Ayla social-emotionally, which is really what i'm concerned about the most.
Maybe this is the next miracle God has for Ayla...maybe not. I'm sure we will learn something and grow somehow...no matter what, as long as we trust Him and if we continue to stop and look at the "small miracles" He does every single day.
Lots of love and God Bless!
I hope you all had a great labour/labor day weekend!

Lacy

Experimental Medication 8-17-11

So it's starting to cool off a bit here now, at least at night...we will see how long that lasts. Our neighbors pool was a bit chilly yesterday at 80 degrees, instead of the near 90 it was most of the summer. I gotta tell you, those few degrees make a big difference!
We were very blessed to have Ryan home for a visit on the 5th-12th of this month. I spend the first couple days he was home away...I got to go to Nashville with a few of the women from a MOPS (mother of preschoolers) group from our church. We had an awesome time and it was much needed for many of us that went. I came back feeling like a person again, not just a run ragged mom:)
Ryan's visit was very good. The kids enjoyed their couple days with just dad. We packed in a dinner out, a day of boating and tubing with Ryan's parents, and a campout in the backyard (smores and all). While Ryan was home he also went for a meeting/interview with a company from Sarnia. We still haven't heard back from a few of the other things we have been waiting for. We are trying to wait patiently and pray like crazy. With the one from Sarnia, they said that we should hear by the end of this week. So thanks for your continued prayers for Ryan to find work closer to home soon. They are very much appreciated.
As far as things with Ayla...they are going well. She's had some cramping in her hands the last few days. They seem to sieze right up, so her therapy people will check it out tomorrow. She's having lots of fun this summer in splash pads, pools, playgrounds, and watching Ezra play soccer. She will be old enough to play next year...and she found that out and now is very much excited about playing next year. Please pray for me to not have a heart attack the first time i see her on the field with 20 other kids running at her...okay? *grin*
I heard last week from the pharmacudical company about the experimental drug they want to try Ayla on. The govt won't approve the medicaion b/c her MRI doesn't show her disease now that the inflammation is gone and short of a skin and muscle biopsy, they won't. But the company said they would give Ayla a "compassion dose", which means that for 6 months, Ayla could use the medication free of charge. After that they would apply through Trillium for her to get it, but the govt will not pay for it. It is $1100 per dose and she would recieve one dose per month, if we decide to try it and then it actually works after the 6 months trial. That said, we have time to decide whether or not we want to do it or not. It is given by infusion (IV), so she would be at the hospital for a few hours for each dose to run. Which in my head, when we found out it was infusion, we wanted to immediately say, "no way!" The things is...what if it made her all better? What if it cured her? Would it be worth the trauma? But what if it does nothing? It certainly wouldn't be worth the trauma...but there is no way for anyone to know if this medication will work or not, without trying.
So...do we try it?
I spoke her her Rhuematologist today and she was understanding but also said that Ayla's skin is very far from normal. And because of it's stiffness/tightness/"dried play doughyness" it can cause joint stiffness, degeneration, and things of that nature. So she obviously feels it would be very worth it to try. They have used this drug on children before with scleraderma and it's done well. That said, in those cases children are on it for year, not 6 months. So who's to say we would even see a difference in 6 months?
There are a few "minor" side effects such as brain swelling (white matter), a possibly increase in malignancy (they aren't absolutely sure, in fact, they think it's more relation to rheumatic disease itself, not the meds), as well as swelling/discharge from eyes, among other things i can't remember b/c of all the information swirling in my head.
Long story short (haha, I know right??) I am going to have a consult with her old Rhuematologist out of Sick Kids. She's the one that originally wanted Ayla on this med, but she's the one that has seen Ayla since the beginning...
Her PT's and OT's aren't sure the meds would help...they wanted to see if there was a way they could take 6 months (off the med) and measure mathematically the rate of improvment in her skin, flexibility, strength, etc and then see if she has plataued or if she is still improving.
Anyways, it's a very tough position to be in. A hard choice to make. We are praying and praying God will lead us to the right choice, but all the what if's keep building up and make it harder to be sure.
I'm very scared of how the increase time and procedures in the hospital once again will effect her emotionally, behaviourly, phsychologically...She's come so far in all those area's also, is it worth it for a "maybe?"
Lots of love to you all. Enjoy your last few weeks of summer! I will let you know what happens.
Thanks again for your love and support through these last couple years (yep it's been almost that long since 'Ayla got sick'...those 3 words ring in my head often).
Be blessed!

Lacy

Something from a devotion this morning i wanted to share with you all:

"I needed to ask one question in order to move on: “Is God enough?”
When a friend betrays me, is God enough?
When I need to forgive what seems unforgivable, is God enough?
When my child has issues out of my control, is God enough?
When my marriage is on the brink of destruction, is God enough?
When I am not forgiven by another, is God enough?
When my mom is dying of cancer, is God enough?
When others don’t recognize my value, is God enough?
When I struggle professionally, is God enough?
When someone I love uses words to hurt me, is God enough?
When I am in debt and don’t know how I’ll pay my bills, is God enough?
When my past haunts me, is God enough?
When my health declines, is God enough?
When I am let down and disappointed in my life, is God enough?
I discovered the answer I always came to when I asked “Is God enough?” Yes He is."
http://devotions.proverbs31.org/2011/08/is-god-enough-2.html

7-27-11

Hi to all my sweaty Ontario and New York friends and family. Ryan just informed me that while yesterday it felt like a very literal (47) 117 degrees, this morning he went to work in Calgary with a sweater on at a balming (10)...yes, you may all throw things at him the next time you see him. Especially after he took a picture of his thermometer and sent it to me, i'm sure chuckling. That said we have been keeping cool, enjoying our central air and the neighbors pool. (Forgive me but it took me a few days to finish this update...)

So what's new from the last update...? Ayla is doing well. She's gaining some strength for sure. She loves to hang off the grocery cart now...which i'm thankful for, BUT IT ISN'T VERY CONVENIENT! They had a little scare a week or 2 ago at school. She was jumping on a little trampoline and she was doing very well so her OT allowed her to jump just rest her hands against Ayla's...well, i think Ayla thought it was a big trampoline and she flopped down and banged her head. She cried a bit but i think her OT must have been almost in tears, b/c when she was telling me about it i thought she was going to lose it. They see her as a little glass girl sometimes. Even a friend of ours was with us at the park and Ayla was going down a narrow set of stairs with railings on either side, jumping and swinging down and i think her heart skipped a beat many times. It's so hard to rest...and know that God is watching her every move protecting her, b/c of what has happened to her. BUT HE IS THERE! And she is getting stronger and braver and bigger every day because of Him.

Recently we saw a few people we hadn't seen for over a year. We happened to be at a childrens play place. They saw Ayla and were so excited and surprised to see her walking. They asked me how long she had been walking. I had to think...for a long time i got hung up on how long it had been since she walked...since she moved even. I explained we had some bumps in the road, but she has been walking for..... almost a year! Time flies! It suprised me to think about it because really, day to day just becomes how it is when you don't know what's going to happen next (which i guess we never really do). We just became thankful for each day and the progress and then when i ran into someone who was so shocked i went, "oh. Well yeah...she's walking." So matter of fact. I don't want to take anything for granted. Nothing. We have been so blessed by the many miracles that have happened to Ayla and to our family. I never want to forget them or become so matter of fact. While typing this, i'm thinking that matter of fact thinking almost might come from trusting the Lord. Learning to trust that He has a plan for Ayla and that His plan was for her to walk again and if it wasn't, then He would help us deal with that too. Peace in whatever situation. Knowing that God will provide for every phsycial and emotional need that we have. I think most people have a head knowledge of that...but to actually know it...feel it...see it makes it so much more...POWERFUL. So yes, our girl has been walking for almost a year! Praise God!
A few weeks ago i took Ayla to see her Rhuematologist. She gained some weight. She's finally bigger than she was almost 2 years ago when she got sick! Praise the Lord for that! A growing girl! They are still trying to work out the details on an experimental drug for Ayla. It doesn't sound like she's "sick enough" for the govt to approve it short of doing another skin and muscle biopsy (which was how she was finally diagnosed), which is not going to happen. So the docs in London and Toronto are talking about what to do. They could just request it from the pharmacudical company...they are supposed to call us when we know. Until then we pray about whether or not we should even try it. It would be 3 injections in the hospital in 6 weeks (she said it would have to be London) and then 1 a month in a hopsital after that. It all has to be done in a hosptial b/c they have never used this on a child her age before or for this disease. I will let you know more when we know more.
Two weeks ago i took Ayla for a cleaning and check up at the dentist. We talked about the jaw pain she was continueing to have on and off. We spoken with her about it before and she couldn't find anything wrong. During the check up she noticed the molar in the spot where Ayla's pain is "around" was wiggling. She did an panoramic xray (which Ayla did totally awesome with) and low and behold that tooth was dead. She wanted to remove it right away but it would have to be done in a hospital. So that friday Ayla had a pre op consult at the hospital and surgery 6am Monday. They removed the tooth and did some more xrays. They could find nothing wrong with the tooth or any reason for it to be dead so they sent it off the pathology to be checked out. The rest of her mouth was fine but it looks like there may be some issues with her adult teeth. The dentist said it could be genetic or because of the heavy steroid therapy when she was so young that it inhibited the formation of some of her adult teeth (which they should be able to see on xrays at this point). We will deal with that down the road. The surgery went fine. She always comes out so great ready for her blue slushy:) She is getting to be such a trooper. She just knows the routine now and goes with the flow. They aren't totally sure if this has been what's causing on the pain but we are hopeful that it is.
This week i had to give Ayla's injection alone. My little man is away with his Nana and Papa this week. She did okay...much better than i anticipated.
Ryan still had not heard about work here. So he continues to stay out there. He will be home for a week visiting the begining of August. It's been over 2 months now since the kids have seen him. We all need this...especially them. Thanks for your continued prayers for his work.

I guess that's all for now. I hope you all are enjoying your summers and keeping cool.

Oh! And i wanted to add, this is big: AYLA MADE A FRIEND AT SCHOOL! Someone she actually plays with! I went early to get her today and was watching her on the playground. They were running and laughing and playing TOGETHER! I was so happy! And she was so happy to tell me about her! And when they said goodbye, they even gave eachother a kiss:) It was so cool to see that she was having fun with another kid! Praise God for that answer to prayer!

Lots of Love and blessings!
Lacy

PS I read this in a devotion today and wanted to share it with you all:

"...she had something better than a life without trials or sickness. She had the companionship of Christ and the assurance of His strength and enabling grace."
http://devotions.proverbs31.org/2011/07/perfect-weakness.html

6-27-11

Happy summer to you! Isn't it strange (at least for those of us in Ontario) that the summer has so far been much cooler than the spring?? For a week or two in May and the begining of June we were swimming every day in our neighbors pool and it's been to cool/breezy to do so the last few weeks, other than a day or two.

I actually had to go back and read my last update! It was a month ago! Once the weather changes time seems to fly by.

Ayla is doing well. Baby steps at school as far as opening up and making friends. She's so happy and runs to me with a big smile when i pick her up. She seems like she's having so much more fun. Her favorite thing to do as of late is play "red light/green light" in the gym with the other kids. Her teacher said after the first time, "you should have seen the look on her face. It was like, "look at me!!! I can run with all the other kids!!!"
Her Occupational Therapist over a couple weeks did a "test" to see where Ayla was on a scale for school readiness (at least i think that's what it was for...and no, she won't be in school in the fall). She wanted to see where she was at cognitively, fine motor, speech, etc. Get this.............she scored a SUPERIOR! Her OT said she's never actually had a child score superior before! Isn't that awesome! Our little smarty pants. God certainly made her to be one special little girl. The only real thing they can continue to work on is her strength. A different test showed that her stength is the low end of average but she's confident that it will come. Instead of OT seeing her every week, we are going to do every other for the summer so that Ayla can get more class time (they pull her out for OT) and work on the social/behavioural stuff.
Ayla got a cool new pair of running/water shoes a week or 2 ago. Our neighbors are very kind and share their pool with us and they also have tennis courts near the pool the kids love to run and play on, but a few falls and near heart attacks with Ayla running in crocs later, i decided we should get her some good shoes that can swim and run. They are super cool...(actually i think everyone in our house would like some now, hehe). Hopefully it will help me feel like i don't have to say, "be careful! Watch out!" about 100 times in any given 5 minutes.
Ayla has a few appointments in the next month or so. One at the dentist to see if her teeth are doing better now that she's been off the steroids for a while. Another is with her Rhuematologist on the 8th. I believe we will be talking about another medication for Ayla. Her jaw still seems to bother her so i'm not sure if she's still needing something else or if the injection we give weekly is enough. Her bloodwork and the MRi from March (that should be read properly from sick kids by now) should show something that will make this more clear. The other follows up on Ayla's femur break (the first one from last summer). The break was right in the growth plate so the Orthopedic Surgreon wanted to check it now that it's been a year and make sure it's on the right track. Also, could i ask for prayers about giving Ayla her injections? I've been doing it on my own since Ryan has been gone (with a very helpful big brother holding his baby sisters hand) and today proved to be the roughest poke yet. She starting to really fight back and it makes it more painful for her...i'll talk to her doc about it when we go next week also. Thanks in advance.
I was very blessed and had an opportunity (thanks to some very kind annonymous person/people) over this past weekend to go and visit Ryan out in Calgary. I was there for 3 sleeps (can you tell i have kids?). We had a nice time together and were able to visit some friends of ours that live out there. The kids had a great time with Ryan's parents. I'm very thankful they could watch them as i've never been away unless the kids have been with Ryan...and never for a whole 3 sleeps! The last night was very bittersweet. Some of you know that we aren't sure when Ryan will be home again. It was anticipated it would be the end of this month (June) but a contract he had to come back to was broken and he has no work here. So as of right now he will stay out west (as long as they will have him) until something comes up back here. This is very heart breaking for us all...especially the kids. My heart aches for them...and for myself also... and for my husband who is very lonely. We miss him very much. He is such a good husband and daddy we just desperately want him here with us. We (Ryan and I) understand that the will of God isn't always what we want...and while that's hard, it's even harder for kids that don't know why Daddy can't be home. Before i left, i told the kids (with all kinds of guilt) that i was going to see Ryan. Ezra looked up at me with his blue eyes and paused..."I want to come with you and see him." I just started to cry and said, "i know baby."
We pray every night that daddy would be home soon and we also thank God for taking care of us all when we can't be together...hopefully this will be over soon. Ezra actually said to Ryan last week, "Dad, can you find work here at like and ice cream shoppe or something??" If only things were that simple...
Something opened up here in Windsor about a week ago. Ryan has applied. We just have to trust the promises of God that whatever happens, we are loved, we are taken care of, we are strong enough whether he's here or there.
Thank you God for holding us up and providing for us always...
Thank you you all for your thoughts and prayers. We are very thankful that so many of you continue to lift us up and keep us in your thoughts. We are so thankful for all of you.
God Bless.
Lacy